###### Responses ###### /me rides away on his Mechanostrider ... /me rides away on his Black Battlestrider ... Sorry, no time to chat! I have work to do! Hi, don't me mind me--I'm just checking things out ... With these Gnomish Seemore Goggles I've invented, %name%, I can see your undergarments! I bet you had something to do with the destruction of Gnomeregan! Looking for highly skilled warriors to help retake Gnomeregan! To the gnome-mobile! Those are some first class knees you have there! I heard there were a couple gnomes pretending to me ... but I'm probably just being paranoid Will you be my /friend? Please, be my /friend! All your base are belong to us # Actual quotes from the game My, you're a tall one! Everyone keeps talking about beer goggles. I can't find the plans for them anywhere Hey! Nice apparatus I like large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate You know, I really wish I had a garden where I could put a couple of human statues I apologize profusely for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused I think that last vendor short changed me. Oh, that was a bad one I've discovered that getting pummeled by a blunt weapon can be quite painful I do hope to find some interesting gadgets around here. I do love tinkering with things You know, squirrels can be deadly when cornered Some day, I hope to find the nuggets on a chicken I look bigger in those mirrors where things look bigger I have a number of inventions I'd like to show you, back at my place Your ability to form a complete sentence is a plus I can not find you completely disagreeable You'll be hearing from my lawyers! Necessity is the first cousin of invention I just love to tinker! Any news from Gnomeregan? Pick on someone your own size! The gnome king wears night elf underwear Kiss me, I'm gnomish! Gnomeregan forever! Sorry, I wasn't listening Blah, blah blah blah blah, are you through? I'm not listening! Farewell! Goodbye! Follow me I'll miss you I'll always treasure our time together Danger approaches! Please, join my fight! You could say that we have met before. To that end, we shall also meet again Someday I'll be a real boy! Spare some change? Forty-two ... forty-two ... forty-two what? It could be anything ... hmm ... Rat-kabobs! Get your tasty rat-kabobs! Get them while they're hot! Cheese ... I love cheese. If I only had cheese. If I only had cheese like before In the trash ... always in the trash ... that's where the money is! # Movie quotes and misquotes It's me! What we've got here is failure to communicate I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship There's no place like home Come with me if you want to live! Stay here, I'll be back! Hasta la vista, baby Up, up, and away! I see dead people When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do Don't try to follow me. I'm pretty handy with this You are a menace. A walking pestilence You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking Why, you're nothing but a great big coward! Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks! Did you say something? My! People come and go so quickly here! What would you do with a brain if you had one? Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! I beg your pardon, are you ill? Do I make you horny? You had me at hello You know the saying, "Monkey see, monkey do" Do you think there could be wild animals in here? Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son Houston, we have a problem Find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter Must go faster ... What would you say if I told you I think you're as human as I am? This is getting embarassing You heroes killed a dozen people this week. What are you going to do next week? Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go, and still have the feeling that you wanted to stay? I have very little time, and so the conversation will be entirely about me and I shall love it A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti Lunch is for wimps Ohh, there must be some easier way for me to get my wings A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it 'Round the world and home again, that's the sailor's way If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does Ahoy, and other nautical expressions! Curiosity often leads to trouble Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple I meant what I said and I said what I meant Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one How did it get so late so soon? A person's a person, no matter how small You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells You make 'em, I amuse 'em You've been out of your mind for the last three and a half hours. Sit down before you fall down A lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face A fine conscience I turned out to be! Remember the time I put strings on you and passed you off as a puppet? %name%, I'd like to kiss you goodbye %name%, you are not in command here. Put down that gun! Now remember, %name%: be a good boy, and always let your conscience be your guide Toodeloo, %name%! I'm not afraid of you, %name%! I'm not afraid of anything ... except a lighted match %name%, if you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange %name%, the next time you do NOT want to see anybody, just let me know and I'll usher them right in %name%, my lad, you're wonderful. I may write a book about you I am not an animal. I am a gnome! Tell me, why are all gnomes created equal? This is a day of independence for all the gnomes and their descendants The next time you see an undead warlock, walk right up to him and spit in his eye. That's what I'd do Of all the channels on all of Battle.net, I had to come to this one You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. I must be cautious I've got a feeling we're not in Dun Morogh anymore I didn't realize that humans could be monogamous # More ... Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"? There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family" A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving Has any turtle ever outlived a shaker of turtle food? As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off Eternity's a terrible thought. I mean, where's it all going to end? A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes I think that I think, therefore I think that I am And remember, no matter where you go, there you are Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it Doing a thing well is often a waste of time Getting caught is the mother of invention In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot What's another word for Thesaurus? Against logic there is no armor like ignorance Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves Behind every great fortune there is a crime You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public You haven't achieved equality until you're a legitimate target for humor Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous--everyone hasn't met me yet My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ... turned me over and said. Look ... twins! My mother had morning sickness after I was born I am certain there is too much certainty in the world Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving My favorite thing is to go where I've never been I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true Quit now, you'll never make it. If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation The character of a man is known from his conversations To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversations as a dog does It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off The true traveler is he who goes on foot, and even then, he sits down a lot of the time Remember that happiness is a way of travel--not a destination He who would travel happily must travel light Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone There are three cures for ennui: sleep, drink and travel The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can Don't live in a town where there are no doctors The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different My home is not a place, it is people Getting fired is nature's way to telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place The only place you will be accepted is the place you make for yourself He hasn't an enemy in the world--but all his friends hate him Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things They certainly give very strange names to diseases Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not Hate no one; hate their vices, not themselves The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk The best way to predict the future is to invent it An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh Don't reinvent the wheel, just realign it Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity It is a poor wit who lives by borrowing the words, decisions, inventions and actions of others