One of my clients is a mortgage company with a small network of 5 workstations and 1 server. One of the employees had gotten into some porn and had dialers, a xxx toolbar and other goodies on his workstation. They called me out to clean it up and I did.

After I left, the owner called me on my cell and told me that they were going to play a joke on the guy with the porn. He asked me to play along if the guy called me. I agreed and about 30 minutes later, the guy called me up. He was trying to bribe me to modify this ‘report’ that I was delivering later that day. I told him that it would be tough for me to modify the ‘report’ because the computer generates it automatically. He insisted that he would lose his job if the ‘report’ came back with too much porn on it. I finally relented and assured him that if I had a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey, I could fix it up for him.

Apparently, he made up some bullshit excuse to leave the office and went to the liquor store. I called the owner and told him what was up and that I would be there in about an hour with the ‘report’. I took a ream of blank paper, a professional looking cover sheet, and a printout of a bunch of giant dildos to create the ‘report’.

I showed up with this giant stack of paper and went into the conference room with the owner. He yelled out to Brian “get in here Brian; I want us to go over this together.” Everybody in the office gathered to see the ‘report’. There was a look of horror on the guys face when he saw that stack of paper and the very believable cover sheet. Everyone’s gaze was locked on the stack when the owner turned the first page. “What the hell have you been up to, Brian?” he yelled as the image of giant dildos appeared. The room exploded in laughter and questions like “What do you do with those?” “Where do you put that?

Yes it was good fun and I got a free bottle of whiskey out of the deal.

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