Heidi decides to take a break from her long day of super modeling for hugh heffner, so her and her playmate friends decide to go out to LA and hit the bars and clubs.  Heidi is standing at the bar when a man comes up and starts to hit on her, the lines progress and the man blurts out: "I'd like to flip you upside down and drink beer out of your vagina!" Heidi gets disgusted and tells the man to get away from her. The man keeps giving her looks from acrossed the bar, and Heidi gets fed up and calls her boyfriend Ted.  Ted answers the phone and Heidi says: "Ted come down here, some guy is hitting on me and being totally Nasty."  Ted hauls down to the bar and starts walking toward Heidi while rolling up his sleeves (keep in mind Ted is about 6'6'' 300 lbs).  He approaches Heidi and asks where the man is whos about to get his ass beat.  "Before I go over there and pulverize this guy Heidi - What did he say to you?"  Heidi replies: "He said he wants to pour beer in my vagina and flip me over and drink it out of me!".  Ted turns around, and starts heading out the door to his truck. Heidi yells out: "TED WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?" Ted turns around and says: "I'm not messing with a guy that can drink THAT MUCH BEER!"

OWNED ROFL

mmmmm good.

My favorite pick up line: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Actually, the best pickup line is as follows:

"Girl, which one of your parents is retarted....?  'Cause you sure are special."

Works every time.

[quote author=jigsaw link=topic=13856.msg141247#msg141247 date=1136850527]
Heidi decides to take a break from her long day of super modeling for hugh heffner, so her and her playmate friends decide to go out to LA and hit the bars and clubs. Heidi is standing at the bar when a man comes up and starts to hit on her, the lines progress and the man blurts out: "I'd like to flip you upside down and drink beer out of your vagina!" Heidi gets disgusted and tells the man to get away from her. The man keeps giving her looks from acrossed the bar, and Heidi gets fed up and calls her boyfriend Ted. Ted answers the phone and Heidi says: "Ted come down here, some guy is hitting on me and being totally Nasty." Ted hauls down to the bar and starts walking toward Heidi while rolling up his sleeves (keep in mind Ted is about 6'6'' 300 lbs). He approaches Heidi and asks where the man is whos about to get his ass beat. "Before I go over there and pulverize this guy Heidi - What did he say to you?" Heidi replies: "He said he wants to pour beer in my vagina and flip me over and drink it out of me!". Ted turns around, and starts heading out the door to his truck. Heidi yells out: "TED WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?" Ted turns around and says: "I'm not messing with a guy that can drink THAT MUCH BEER!"
[/quote]

That is one messed up joke!

Hahaha.

I'll give you a nickle if you tickle my pickle.